The Fall and The Rise

Okay, here we are. A year since my last post.

Like my stories, my life just got tangled in some plot twists. Two of them turned me upside down. First, I lost my website, windareksa.com, then my second novel, Neo Carnival, was suspended. Those moments were hard and painful. When I looked back, I found mistakes and failures scattered around my works. Cliffhangers haunted me and blank pages laughed at me. This feels bad. Just like playing the wrong game. Or like fighting in a war you know you can’t win. I thought I wasn’t qualified for this job. Worse, I even doubted my passion.

Then, the question hit me.

“Will you keep creating stories even if no one is willing to read them?”

There’s no need to tell stories that will be ignored by everybody. People around me, for example, don’t really care about what I tell, what I write or what I create. Creating something from nothing is exhausting (especially in English, since it is not my first language). Lots of things was sacrificed back then. They messed up your mind, weighed down your heart, absorbed your sanity, drained your energy faster than an old battery in full brightness smartphone, and — of course — took an awful amount of time.

So, why keep creating if no one cares and you don’t have the ability? It’s stupid. A real waste of time.  To stop creating will be a good solution, right?

NO!

That’s a big no for me.

Being human is being up and down when the storm rages. Plot twist was nothing more than a proof that we are alive. Failures were nothing more than signs that we were struggling. Mistakes were nothing more than signs of many rooms to grow. 

Now, let me change the question. Why stop creating stories if there’s no one willing to read?
I write what I want to read. I care about my stories. I can hear my characters’ voices and see their world. Why should I stop just because people don’t read it yet? To tell the truth, it’s my job to make them care. I will keep writing. I will keep learning. I will keep going even I might fall sometimes. I want to present the best stories for the readers. This is a promise to myself.

For whoever read this post, if you have ever felt what I feel right now, I just want to remind you: every one of us is on a progress. In fact, by reading this you just proved that someone is willing to read what I write. Don’t giving up on yourself. Keep going. :’)

“Will you keep creating stories even if no one is willing to read them?” My answer would be: YES.

I’m Winda Reksa. A dreamer, an author, and designer.

*Ah, one more thing. Come again. I’ll give you another story better than my complaining this.

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